An Excerpt from “My Crazy Life”

 

As I had said earlier, for many years I was taking college classes at night as I worked towards my degree. At the beginning of the process I took off the summer semesters, and would take one or two classes a semester depending on the course work.

Towards the end I just wanted to be done and was going nonstop throughout the year. It wasn’t so bad, the summer semesters were only six weeks long and they went pretty quickly and there was still some summer left to enjoy when the six weeks were over.

Because I worked on campus I would have a good hour and half to two hours before class would start.

During the summer I would sit outside or go into one of the few shops before heading to class.

Sometimes I would just head to the classroom early to sit in the (hopefully) air conditioned room, especially if it was an incredibly hot day.

On one hot summer day however, I decided to go get a Slush Puppy (like a drinkable Italian Ice) before class. I had time to kill and what better way to waste time, than to get a nice icy beverage before class. Besides the fact that I hadn’t had Slush Puppy’s since I was a kid and of all places to find a store that sells them a few blocks from class. I was immediately taken back to the store in my old hometown where I would go with my parents to get Slush Puppies.

I purchased a watermelon flavored one, one of my favorite flavors (and one that wouldn’t make my mouth turn a funny color before class). And with that first sip I was in icy beverage heaven. I walked out of the store and was waiting for the light to change so I could cross the street and continue my journey to class. As I am standing there on the corner sipping on that icy bit of heaven, I started to hear a noise that sounded like someone was dumping out a bottle of water onto the pavement.

You know that splattering sound that is very unique.

Then I started to see a stream running down towards where I was standing. The stream nearing my flip-flopped feet, I started to follow the stream to find out what it was. I followed it to a man standing about a foot behind me. No bottle in his hand, he wasn’t dumping out a bottle of anything. To my horror he was taking a leak right there on the sidewalk.

The man was clearly a homeless person, evident by his clothing and behavior. I know a few guys after a long night of drinking that have tinkled up against many a building, but never on the sidewalk in the middle of the day or in front (or behind) me for that matter. I was highly disturbed and disgusted by this behavior, not to mention his sprinkle almost touched my naked toes.

I looked at him, told him that I didn’t appreciate getting nearly peed on and walked away, very quickly. I didn’t want him to chase me and who knows what he could have done, because in honesty what did he have to lose. As I quickly walked to class the grossness factor of what happened to me set in, and I had the ever growing sensation to take a shower.

By the time I got to class, there were only a few other students in the classroom and my teacher. My teacher clearly saw the frustration/disgust on my face and asked what happened. I told her how a homeless man nearly peed on me. She told me to just go home, that if I was that close to getting sprinkled on that I didn’t need to be in class. She clearly understood my upset and was relieved.

She gave me my assignment for the next class and collected my homework that was due for that class. I went home, showered and scrubbed my feet.

I know the pee didn’t actually touch them—but it was a mental thing I guess. I couldn’t get past the fact that I was millimeters from some man’s tinkle getting on me.

I started wearing sneakers when walking to class, no matter how hot it was outside. I didn’t want any foul substances getting that close to my feet again. This made me start to wonder though, how many people has this ever happened to. How many people have been peed on by a homeless person? I couldn’t be the only one, could I?

 

 

Nicole Sebula  is an editor at The New Yinzer. While not editing TNY, Nicole works full time at the University of Pittsburgh. Recently, Nicole has published her first book, entitled “My Crazy Life”, which will be out Dec.27th.  She is very excited about it.